The period of time immediately following a break up is a very vulnerable time for a girl. You're an emotional roller coaster. You can't stop crying. You're eating everything. You're eating nothing. You're clinging onto your phone like it's your lifeline, hoping he'll just text you or something. Yes, you do deserve patience, sympathy, and sensitivity from your friends and family.
This does not, however, give you the excuse to get too crazy while you're coping with a breakup.
Classy girls don't ...
- Vandalize their ex's property, including, but not limited to, keying cars (sorry, Carrie), smashing windows, etc.
- Have rampant rebound sex. Ew?
- Stalk your ex. I don't mean facebook, I mean legit following them.
- Trash talk. Feel free to complain your friends, but do you really think anyone is going to believe you if you run around saying he's gay or has herpes? Probably not.
- Take their anger out on any girl he even talks to.
- Post those annoying, ridiculously emotional facebook statuses about him that you think are "discrete", but actually are completely transparent to everyone on facebook. Cut the drama, mama.
There are healthy ways to get over him...
- Purge. No, not vomiting. Get rid of his stuff (preferably, give him back his stuff), pictures of you guys, any other memorabilia that directly reminds you of him. If you don't want to get rid of it, at least put it all in a box and put it in an attic or a closet for you to deal with when you're over it.
- Stop Talking to Him. Go for a 60-day detox period. This "he-tox" will not be easy, but it's important to give yourself time to get over it without relapsing back to where you started because you just had to text him saying you missed him. Delete his number from your phone, de-friend him on facebook (or if you ended on "good terms", just hide him from your newsfeed". Fight the urge to check if he's talking to other girls or to check through his pictures to see what he's been up to. It's not helping anything, trust me. Let me repeat: Don't text. Don't call. Don't facebook message. Nothing. For sixty days. By then, your head will be clear.
- Try Something New. Preferably something healthy and productive. Me? This is where my gym addiction started. Try zumba, pilates, yoga, kickboxing, butts and guts, whatever. Or pick up an instrument, or a book. Just keep busy!
- Vent. Keeping things bottled inside is never good. Cry, and say what's on your mind. But be selective, talk to your close friends, your mom, or your sister. Do not, under any circumstance, use facebook as a channel for your anger or sadness. Those song lyrics might sounds like a great idea for a status now, but looking back on it later, you'll just feel embarrassed and appear immature (trust me).
- Don't be so hard on yourself. It's easy to assume that the reason your relationship failed is your own fault. You're not a bad person. A lot of times, you might be in different places, one of you might have changed, or the communication wasn't good. You aren't single-heartedly the reason it didn't work out. If you did do something wrong, like cheat, then make sure you've apologized, and vow to yourself that you'll change, and then move on.
- When you're ready, get back out there. Don't rush yourself- that's rebounding. You won't immediately be ready for another serious relationship, but give yourself some time, and don't be afraid to try again <3.
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