Why tswift is the perfect solution to any boy problem:

In an "oh my god I like a boy" mood? Try this. Makes me love life.

Want to cry? You two should commiserate. 

Hate the new girl? There's a song for that. 

That is all.

Problem #9: Facebook Etiquette

Note: all quotations used in this post come from real facebook statuses. If it's yours, I honestly don't apologize.

There are things you can and can't do in real life. For example, you probably wouldn't go up in front of a lecture hall full of a few hundred people and say, "Swallow bitch there's people starving in Africa." I think I almost threw up when I saw that one on my newsfeed. So what makes it okay to say things like this on facebook?

Essentially, there are certain things you shouldn't do in a facebook status. There might be a computer screen between you and the 600 people reading it, but that doesn't mean you should do any of the following:


1) Pathetic, self-pitying statuses. 

"Sometimes I really do just feel invisible. It's like why am I even around?"

"if its true and you are back with her then i'll be crushed... thoughts running through my mind. Fucking time hates me. </3"

First of all, before posting something like this, consider the following: Why am I posting this? Who is this directed towards? Rather than being passive-aggressive, why don't we act like a grown-up and talk directly to that person and address the problem. If this status is referring to one or maybe a few people, your other 600 friends don't need to hear about it. 

Second of all, some of your "friends" will feel obligated to comment on this. Will sad faces and "whats wrong?" posts really make you feel better? No. Furthermore, if you respond to these comments and elaborate on how much your life sucks, I can assure you that you're just digging yourself a hole.

 2) Improper use of capitalization.

"Love Me, Hate Me, But U Never Will Break Me"

 Last Time I Checked, It Wasn't Okay To Make Sentences Like This. Also, why put in the extra effort to keep pressing the shift key? Also included in the umbrella of improper capitalization is ThIs ThInG. It'S sUpEr AnNoYiNg.

3) Asking ridiculous questions that you could probably Google.

"does anyone else know if Kraft mac and Cheese- including easy mac- has MSG in it?"

 Nope. No I do not.


4) Things that don't make sense.

"pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, he's just the tailor"

 Um.. what?

5) "Truth is" 

"because im bored. LMS and I'll give you a truth is. Awessome."

First of all, stop using the acronym LMS. Second of all, I cringe everytime I see a truth is. Last time I checked we weren't still in middle school. Also, awesome*.


6) Profanity.

"You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip and shut the fuck up" 

Classy. Just remember, your Aunt Ruth probably won't appreciate this, and neither will your future employer.

 7) Overly mushy statuses.

"you changed my world with just one smile, you took my heart with just one kiss" {♥} (:"

I mean, if you really want you can text this to your boyfriend, but the rest of us don't care. Thanks. 

Sorry if any of this is offensive, it's only my opinion. Stay classy.

How to get ready for a date

The Stages of Grief

Coming from a former psych major, the time after a person experiences loss is a complicated time, to say the least. This next part, from The Examiner, summarizes the stages of grief after a breakup:

Many people don't associate breakups with grief or bereavement, but it's actually the same thing. You are experiencing the loss of a person that was a very important part of your life, and it’s only natural to mourn.
Experts have identified seven different stages of grief. It is important to note however, that the progression from one stage to another is as unique as the individuals themselves.  For instance, after a breakup you may find yourself in the Depression stage for six months, whereas others may move forwards (or backwards) in a matter of weeks.
Take a look at these seven stages, and identify where you may fall. This will give you a better understanding of what you’re going through, and a realization that the feelings you are experiencing are only natural. Have hope that you will progress in time, and will see the pain of today as a memory tomorrow.

The Seven Stages of Grief:
Shock & Denial – This period begins with the initial and stunning reality of the breakup. You may feel numb with disbelief. In order to cope with the initial shock of the pain, you may even slip into some level of denial – a natural defense mechanism. This stage can last for weeks.
Pain & Guilt – The period of pain settles in when the shock has subsided. This stage may be one of the more difficult to experience, but is necessary for full healing. Although the pain may at times be unbearable, it is important that you accept it and cope with it in a healthy way. Turning to drugs, alcohol, or other risky behavior can be detrimental to your recovery and personal health. Guilt can also come into play here, as you may feel deep remorse in how you may have contributed to the breakup.
Anger & Bargaining – This is where the overall frustration comes to a head. After you have experienced the pain of your loss, you will begin to look for blame. Depending on your personality style, you may even lash out at your ex or whomever you feel is the cause of your breakup. You must be careful during this time; even though you may feel quite strongly in your anger, it is important to maintain composure and not to hurt those in your war path. Try to keep your thought process as objective as possible. You may also find yourself bargaining, sending out prayers such as, “I will be a better person if you just send him back!” Although this may not deliver another chance at your relationship, it is perfectly natural to want to do whatever is necessary to end your current remorse.
Depression & Loneliness – A period of sad, quite reflection now ensues. Although your friends and family may try to console you or talk you out of this feeling of sadness, it may not be entirely effective. It is necessary and normal to fully experience this stage, and you must take your time with it. This stage may take longer than the others, as you fully feel the magnitude of your loss. Be easy on yourself at this point, and take whatever alone time you need. Feelings of emptiness, despair and loneliness will creep in – be patient, as it will eventually subside.
The Upward Turn – Now you begin with the more positive side of the healing process. As you begin to adjust to life without your significant other, you will feel a bit of relief from the sadness and pain. The depression may still linger, but only slightly. You begin to develop a daily routine that does not include your partner, and your life returns to some semblance of normalcy.
Reconstruction –Once you have begun a more functional existence, you will begin to reconstruct your life and focus more on rebuilding your internal structure. In the process, it is important to work towards goals of redefining & bettering yourself in the wake of your loss. This may include joining a gym, going back to school, taking a new job or tackling your financial situation. Take this opportunity to find the person you were before this relationship, while integrating the lessons you have learned from the breakup - all in a positive, constructive way.
Acceptance & Hope – Reality has sunk in, and the breakup is now part of your history. Although you may have accepted the ending of your relationship, it does not mean you will be instantly happy. It is normal to still feel the sadness of your loss, but you now have a more positive and peaceful perspective. Hope begins to rise, knowing that tomorrow is a new day and you can survive just fine without your ex-love.

This blog isn't about me, but sometimes when you're dealing with a breakup, it's helpful to know from someone else that it's going to be just fine. Two months ago, I was a complete mess. Today, I'm over it. I talked to my ex for the first time since we ended things and it's obvious that we're going to be just fine as friends. Like I mentioned in a previous post, sometimes it's worth keeping an ex in your life as a friend rather than cutting off all communication with them forever. It just takes time.

The stages of grief aren't always easy to go through. One day you'll think you're getting better and the next you might feel awful. But just know that one day you'll wake up, and just be over it.

I learned so much in the past two months. But probably the most important thing I learned had nothing to with my relationship or my ex, it had to do with my friends. Sometimes you have friends that aren't really there when you need them most. Maybe they don't know what to say, or maybe they really don't care all that much. Sometimes you find support from people you would least expect it from, and it teaches you to value these people more.

And sometimes you have friends that honestly drop everything just to sit next to you, hug you while you cry, and listen to all the ridiculous things you are saying for weeks on end. One friend in particular I've known since I was five, but until this summer, I never fully appreciated how amazing of a friend she really is. It does take these kinds of situations to find out who your real friends are, and I'm truly blessed.

You find out who your friends are.

 <3

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.

I love, love, love Adele.

"Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most."

-unknown author

Problem #8: "Just Friends."

Is it ever really possible to be "just friends" with an ex? Sometimes. A lot of times it's best to just leave things clean-cut, stop talking completely, and move on, so your heart can heal. But it's not always that simple, and there are some people that are worth keeping in your life, even after a break-up. It might be a little rough at first, but in time, it's possible to make a friendship work.

But you must be tactful...

• Take a break. Would you try to run a marathon the day after having knee surgery? Absolutely not. So don't start this new-found friendship immediately after breaking up. You both need time and space. I've referenced to this before, but I would give yourself a minimum of a 60-day detox period where you don't make any contact, at all. However, this doesn't work for everyone. It could take two months, or two years, depending on the severity of the breakup, to be ready to try out this friendship thing. But regardless, you both need time to get over it, and talking during this mourning period will not help. 

Okay, so you've taken a break and now you both want to try and be friends. Just make sure you...

• Set emotional boundaries. Feeling sad? Upset about something? Don't go to him. That's what your close friends are for. Keep your friendship simple. Also, don't try to analyze what went wrong in your relationship. If you really need closure with him, wait until your head is clear and you're not feeling too emotional about the subject. But there's no reason to keep this dragging on.
• Keep your friendship platonic. What does that mean? No kissing, no flirting, no hand-holding, oh, and no sex. Ever. No, consuming alcohol isn't a good excuse for it. Keep things simple, being "friends with benefits" after breaking up doesn't work, there are almost always feelings involved.
• Get back out there. Date other guys. But don't talk about it with your ex. Jealousy will undermine any friendship, and it will probably just make you look desperate and immature. In time, maybe you can talk about your respective relationships, but not now.

If either of you start to feel more than friendly toward the other, this friendship probably isn't working. Give yourself more space. If both of you develop feelings for each other again, well then whatever happens, happens. I almost want to put the sentence I just wrote in fine print, because the purpose of trying to be friends is to be friends, not to make him realize how great you were and make him want you back. If that's the case, you're in it for the wrong reasons. I'll leave it at that.

<3